And the Winner Is…

Mother, May I 02.04.15

And the Winner IS….

 

YOU!-You made it through January. You managed to keep at least one of your New Year’s Resolutions, and that’s OK -as long as you are feeling good about your behavior and habits. Just like Superbowl XLIX is behind us -put behind you any bad memories or consequences that came from your behavior. It’s February, 2015 and Mother, May I is going to help you be a good sport in work, play and family.
Words of Advice to help keep you on track for a SUPER 2015

Active-Lisening

• Work on improving your listening skills. At home, school, work, even on the subway and in short conversations in the grocery store, wherever you are, try to be an active listener. Active listening can be developed with practice. Don’t simply hear, but concentrate on what a speaker is saying. Doing so will teach about who your talking to, help you understand underlying messages, feelings, and dispositions, and make the conversation more beneficial for all parties involved

Here are some tips that can help you become an active listener.

  • – Pay full attention to the speaker.
  • – Use body language to give gesture that you are listening.
  • – Give ample feedback
  • – Do not judge
  • – Respond accordingly.
  • – Do not plan your response while the speaker is still talking. Instead hear them out fully, and then take an extra moment to gather your response afterward if necessary.

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• Hit the Pause button often. Stop Look Listen— This kindergarten code of conduct for crossing the street still resonates into our everyday social conduct. And now that we are older, a word of advice is added:-Think before you speak. Is it ever okay to correct someones manners? Read the Huffington Post Article “Minding Other People’s Manners: When and How Is It Okay?” to find out.

• It’s National Heart Month-Take yourself to the doctor for a yearly physical. Taking care of your own health will make you feel better. Take it one-step further-Ask your friends and neighbors—have they had their health checked? Leanr more about health and manners with this past  Mother, May I  Facebook post.

May we ask for your say on how you are feeling in February? We promise to listen and ask caring questions.

Etiquette Experts-
Demetria and Lisa
Co-founders-Mother, May I

Is it ok to discuss Religion and Politics?

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So… I am sure most of you have heard the old adage, ”don’t discuss religion or politics”.    Why is that do you think? I think it is because people are so passionate about their point of view surrounding these two topics, it seems very possible that the discussion may turn to fist a cuffs. We have seen that throughout history, and are dealing with such polarizing topics as America’s involvement in Syria to the legalization of Gay marriages. But in polite conversation, you have to mask that anger and frustration and maintain a civil conversation. That is hard…and so we resist it.

Conflict, actually, can be positive or negative, constructive or destructive, based on how we approach, engage and navigate the conflict. Constructive conflict, occurs when people express disagreement without hostility and with a commitment to an effective resolution of the conversation. But in this digital age where people can weigh in on any topic behind the comfort and security of their computer screen or mobile device…well the conversation can get downright vulgar and unproductive. Take Emma Watson’s speech to the UN on women’s equality…well that seems like a topic we can all give a group hug to. Well one of the reporters had to threaten to take her blog down based on the critical and crude posts that were popping up.

Here are some tips to help you have a constructive conversation about polarizing topics.

  • Active listening – do not dismiss an opinion just because it is not in-line with your own( link back to our Did you know tab under Do You Understand me)
  • Never demean or belittle intelligence or character of the person you are speaking with
  • Have a conversation, respecting other’s opinions…agreeing to disagree if necessary
  • Speak your opinion in a non-threatening manner

Many a friendship, family connection and career have been lost by handling this topic without grace and proper manners.

And for you bloggers out there…if you wouldn’t feel comfortable making your comment face to face, I would refrain from posting it. It is a poor reflection on you, that could come back to haunt you.

In the end, disagreements are healthy. In public discourse, there are difficult problems that do not have simple solutions. It is ok to have a conversation and ultimately to agree to disagree with someone. The key word being…Conversation!

We would like to start a conversation…Agree or Disagree, Is that the question?

Lisa & Demetria

Co-Founders Mother, May I – Etiquette Experts