How to Stop Blaming Others…

“It’s not my fault”. “I didn’t do that.” “That’s not what I meant to say.” There are many ways we can avoid taking the blame. Many of us want to remain blameless at any cost.

So, what does it cost to take the blame? I guess that depends upon who you are in the world. Politicians tend to back peddle their words to “get away with breaking the law”. Revered professionals seem to “disappear” when they are forced to take ownership of their blame.. And if you are a rock star, you can tell everyone you were hearing voices in your head…Like what  Kanye did at the Oscars and How he explains his actions in this on-air clip from RyanSeacrest.com.

“Right when that happened, everyone was looking at me and then people started screaming, ‘Kanye! Kanye! Go do it!” Okay, that didn’t happen. These were voicesin my head.

As a parent, I have often had to play the blame game.  I would ask “Who did this?”  The answer: “It wasn’t me. I think so and so did it.” As crazy as it sounds, that blame would just go on being unnoticed, then I would  make some feeble attempt to defray the guilt. I wish I had some words of advice from Mother, May I when my kids were pointing their fingers (which is just not nice).

Stop Blaming Others

The Blame Game only gets more complicated as we get older. Blame sneaks into all parts of our lives-It feels like the total truth.  So here are some MMI tips to help you make things right and stop playing the Blame Game:

  1. Rather than blame, learn how to praise. Praise with sincerity. Praise can isolate and remove the need to blame. When you speak to someone about a problem, start with , “Wow, it was nice of you to work late last night.” This will minimize the problem, and maximize fixing the problem.
  2. Rather than feeling tired of having to fix the problem of blame, try to look at it like a challenge – one that will stop negativity and spread positivity through responsibility instead.
  3. Rather than accept someone else’s wrong, teach them to present their true self. Ask them simple questions, that will allow you to listen and offer a clear solution. For example, “Was the assignment given to you with enough time to meet the deadline?” The answer might turn into playing the blame game-But, be strong and reply with simple words of acknowledgement and ask “what do you need to make that deadline?”

Give Praise to co workers, friends, family

Changing our blaming behavior may be insurmountable. Be patient and kind to yourself as well as others. Find the courage to correct the wrongdoing and you will find yourself  being right.

When was the last time you spoke praise with all your heart? Please share that moment with us. Sometimes, even Mother, May I  must seek out moments of praise as a way to expand our mannerly lives.
Demetria and Lisa

 

 

May I Improve Myself with 3 Simple Behavior Changes?

Angel and DevilOf course! You can make a few tweaks (not Tweets) to yourself and that might be all you need to create a better 2015 for yourself and those around you. Building a Better Year by Bettering Your Behavior!

In a culture where technological advances are often used to help us connect with others, what may occur is connecting ourselves more deeply to our own narcissism. Take some time to keep your distance from that “selfie”.

Take some old-fashioned MMI advice – How people look at you may be a catalyst for making a difference in their lives. Read Mother, May I’s Making the Right Impression page to learn more.

Take a snapshot of yourself from a distance – Become aware of your mind-body vulnerabilities.

Changing your behavior to make a better impression may be a daunting thought…but, it is not impossible. If you follow some simple Mother, May I codes of conduct, you will develop the skills to leave a better impression. Resolve that you WILL make a better impression on others in 2015.

  1. Act Positive! Use the right body-language to let others know that you are feeling good. Learn about the right body language at MMI’s Lunch-N-Learn training sessions…Details will be posted soon.
  2. Use the right words. The proper word choice is important when you want to send the right impression.
  3. Reduce your stress by developing a “care for others” regiment. Throughout your day, practice simple, yet powerful acts of kindness.

Mother, May I wants to help you help yourself feel better in 2015.  Practicing good manners will get you moving in the right direction!

Need Help? Call-text-email us- because we can help.  BTW, my New Years resolution is to help 3 people a week.

What is yours?  Share with us one of your resolutions that you feel will create a better world.

 

Happy New Year!

Demetria and Lisa

Co-founders Mother, May I