How much practice do you need to improve your manners?


So last week we gave you that disappointing statistic about the fact that only 8% of people actually achieve their New Year resolutions… 

That is because they don’t practice!

Charles Duhigg who writes for the New York Times talks about the “Habit Loop” in his book The Power of Habit. So what studies have shown is that the 3 steps in the habit loop can be altered by changing one part of it. Take behaviors, like manners for instance, if you recognize the better reward you received when you perform them, you will want to be more mannerly more often. And if you do it often enough, practice being mannerly that is, it will become your new normal and voila…As Mother, May I says “Change your manners…Change your world!”

With the Super Bowl approaching let us be be your Manners Coach and offer these tips to help you be more improve your manners:

  1. 1. Pick a manner that is near to your heart. For instance, I am notoriously tardy. I say to my friends, “I was born 10 minutes late”. Being late is not respecting other’s time, so I have chosen tardiness as my manner of choice. Make it your personal mission statement.
  2. 2. Consistency is critical if you want to make new behavioral habit stick. Make your mindful manner part of your daily routine. A month is a good block of time to commit to a change since it easily fits in your calendar.
  3. 3. We are visual people, so layer in some conscious reminders into your life. Smartphones, computers, and even old-school sticky notes can be employed to take some of the pressure off of you constantly remembering.


 And from the author of the famous 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:

Habit is the intersection of knowledge (what to do), skill (how to do), and desire (want to do).”Stephen R. Covey

Pick one mannerly behavior you want to improve and put it in your Habit Loop…let us know how it changes your life!



Lisa and Demetria

Co-founders Mother, May I